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It IS a Scary Time For Young Men in America (&Young Women) #bettertogether

Politics, I stay far away from because I feel like all it does it stir up fights, meanness, division and separation. I know that there could be good in politics, but it seems like, over time, that’s no longer what it is about.

For the first time, I needed to speak up about something that truly bothered me in the world of politics. In the current Kavanaugh case, Trump had a response of, it’s a “very scary time for young men in America.” I took a moment to process this and then, wanted to just ignore it. I absolutely know this is the wrong thing to do, but I just can’t even feed into some of this type of negativity for my own sanity. If I concerned myself with everyone’s hateful comments, I would be depressed. But this comment seemed different from the million other hurtful, mean, nasty, bizarre, selfish comments I have heard in politics. This hit home to me more than any other comment.

It is a scary time for a young man to grow up, I thought? Wait a second, its been a scary time as girl, young lady and woman growing up, until this day. When I found myself arguing Trump back in my kitchen with no one around, I knew I needed to walk away.

Then, my husband came home and told me about a recent poll that was taken on what would you do (women) if men had a curfew? My husband responded by saying the women were responding with things like: “I would walk on the beach at night,” “I would walk early in the morning,” etc. And, it was in that moment, that I realized, me too.

I never thought about this at a real conscious level before. But the truth is, I have never thought “I can’t run in the early morning when it is dark because a woman will snatch me up and rape me.” I never once thought, “I can’t walk alone by the ocean water on a peaceful night with the moon because a women might grab me, rape me and throw me in the ocean.” I never have thought while running on a path with lots of trees on both sides of me that “a woman would run out and grab me.” I never thought that those white vans with whited out windows in it had “2 women in it ready to grab me and kidnap me.” And, I never thought that a woman would “ruffie my drink and take advantage of me.”

In that moment, yesterday, I realized there were some awesome things I have never done because of fear of what a man could do to me. I thought, it is scary growing up as a young woman in America. How amazing would it be to be alone, in the dark, listening to the sound of the ocean and watching the moon, not worrying, one single drop, about watching your back. Maybe some women can do that, and I truly do believe most men are good, but even today, I would still be cautious on that dark beach.

After Trump made that comment, someone on social media posted his comments, in awe. Then, a woman chimed in to this man’s social media posting saying something along the lines of “it does stink for her son because any girl could ruin his chances of getting in to college.” You know what, I am not going to hate on her for this. I have two boys, and yes, some random girl could ruin all his chances of getting in to college. However, not only are the chances slim of that happening, (as I stated earlier most men are good, most women are good, too) but this should be a movement to better raise our children. Instead of creating a movement of hate and division, one that increases fear in boys now, too, let’s start raising our children better.

I am going to take this as an opportunity to be one hell of a mom to my two sons! I am going to teach my boys the power of respecting women, treating them as an equal, never hurting them, and having a damn conscience. I am going to make sure faith is in their hearts, they work to avoid situations that could put them into a bad light and that despite what the world says, together we are better.

So, I guess what I am saying is, sadly, it is scary to grow up as a young man, AND YOUNG WOMAN nowadays. Not because girls will “call rape” and boys “will rape” but because we have people in this world, in power and not, that keep creating a divide and fostering separation. What a scary world for our GIRLS AND BOYS to grow up in.

#bettertogether #startanewmovement #notofdivision

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5 Ways To Balance Life & Social Media

Millions of people use social media on a daily basis. There are a lot of advantages to social media. Social media can platform your business, help you to keep up with friends and family and even give support during challenging times. But with those advantages, come disadvantages. Just as with most things in life, you need to balance the pros with the cons.

Here are 5 ways you can better balance life and social media:

Don’t Compare

We have all done it. We look at all the amazing pictures of people on social media and wonder, what are they doing that I am not? In some fashion, we all have felt that feeling for a moment. But, what is important to realize is that what you are seeing is just a moment in time on social media for that person. I call it the highlight reel. You are seeing a bunch of the best clips of people’s lives. What is dangerous about this highlight reel is that you are comparing a bunch of people’s best moments to your entire life. This can decrease confidence and be very discouraging.

The Fix

When you are scrolling through social media, get real. Understand that every single person that you are viewing has faced trials and tribulations. Cut the ruminating during and after your time on social media and accept that you saw a moment in time for someone, and recognize you can’t realistically compare their one moment in time to your entire life.

 

Limit Your Time

Your time on social media can add up quickly. Five minutes in the morning, 15 minutes at lunch and 20 minutes at night; that adds up. What if you took 30 of those 40 minutes back? Could you get that run in? Could you read a chapter in a book? Would an extra 210 minutes a week help you work toward that goal? By limiting your social media time you increase the ability to get some time back in your day to help you achieve bigger goals.

The Fix

Start by becoming more aware of your social media time. Be honest and track how many minutes you spend on social media. Then, cut that time in half and take the time you get back to do something healthy for your mind or body. If you feel you can’t get away from social media because you need to make posts for your business. Take time to look into programs where you enter in your social media for the week or month and it automatically releases it for you each day. This will keep you off social media, where you may blend doing business with checking your personal profile.

 

Avoid Distractions

Social media can be a distraction. While in the middle of a project you get a pop up on your phone that says “John Doe just followed you.” This two second distraction soon becomes 20 as you look at John’s Page, thank him for following you and then scroll through Twitter.

The Fix

When you are working on a project, be sure all social media tabs on your computer are closed. Do not enable push notifications on your phone for social media. Research shows it takes 15 minutes to get into flow (or the zone). When you are interrupted, it takes that much time to get back into the zone. Don’t waste your time, avoid distractions and use social media as a reward for getting work done.

 

Don’t Worry About Being “Liked”

Some people use “likes” on social media as way to boost confidence and get approval. While it is okay to want people to like your posts, be sure of two things: First, that you do not post out content and then hover over your social media to see every single like that comes in. That is a waste of your time and energy. Second, that you are not posting a picture or content to feel personally validated. Be sure that you are happy and approved with yourself, don’t give that control out to others.

The Fix

If you are that person that hovers over social media to see every like that comes in, instead, make a posting and put a time limit to checking your social media. Post your content and then check your social media 30 minutes later. Go work on a goal or task and then as a reward check your social media status. If you post to gain acceptance from others, complete an honest self-check of all sectors of your life and make sure that you are content with where you are in those areas of life. If you feel off in one or more of those areas, take the time you spend on social media and instead channel it into improving the area in your life that you feel needs some working on.

 

Put Your Main Life Roles First

The goal here is to be sure that you have given quality time and attention to those people (including you) you love and care for before you give your time to social media. For example, the parents who use social media at the dinner table may be missing opportunities to ask their children about their day. Or, when you are on social media and around your partner, you may miss opportunities to touch or learn more about each other. And, when it comes to you, if you are on a walk alone and flipping through your social media, you may miss an amazing idea that your mind has. Alone time is a great time for self-reflection and the generation of new and potentially successful ideas.

The Fix

During important moments put your phone away. If you want to take photos on your phone, only use the phone for taking photos. Make the commitment to yourself that you will not swipe the push notifications or post the photo you just took onto social media. Be present and in the moment. You can always post the photos you take later on. When you are alone with yourself, set the phone aside for at least the first 15 minutes and take time to reflect.

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5 Mid-Day Routines to Help You Reset & Get on Track

 

We often hear of routines to help you have better mornings; a way to start your day off on the right foot. Mornings are extremely important and play a major role in your day. There are so many benefits in starting your mornings off with being grateful, having a plan, eating breakfast, drinking water, stretching, etc. However, starting your day off on the right track and keeping it there is just as important.

Here are 5 mid-day routines to help you reset and get on track when the afternoon slump attempts an attack.

1.Take a Clarity Break

 

Sometimes, sitting in the same environment, hour after hour can make us feel delirious and cyclical. Our eyes need a break, our legs need a stretch and we need an overall different perspective for a moment.  To be a better you, better employee or leader, you may need to step away.

 

The Fix

Take a clarity break. A clarity break is just a break that allows you to step away from your environment to gain a new perspective. Some clarity breaks do need to be longer than others, but mid-day, you may not have too much time. Instead, take a mini clarity break and walk away for 15 minutes.  The clarity break needs to be out of the office or work space you have been in. Take this time to go for a walk outside. Use this break to look at nature, be solution oriented and visualize the stress or problems releasing from you.

2. Reexamine goals

 

While we may start off our day with goals in mind, it is easy to let the hecticness and distractions veer us off track. Knowing we are off track can make us feel unproductive, overwhelmed, stressed and all over the place.

 

The Fix

Reset yourself mid-day by checking your to-do list or schedule. Create a habit of not letting the day slip you by without checking your planner. When you feel all over the place, stop for a moment and check your planner to see what your goals were for that day. Have you lost focus? If so, don’t get discouraged, just get back on track. Put the distractions that you can aside, or the new to-do’s on another day’s agenda and stay focused on your tasks for that day. Sticking to your schedule can increase your confidence and feelings of accomplishment.

3. Eat a Snack

Glucose is brain fuel. Your brain is a very energy needy organ and if you want it to work well, you need to fuel it. When the day passes by and you haven’t eaten, you might get grumpy, become “on edge,” “irritated” or get a headache. To reset, you might need some food.

 

The Fix

Eat. Grab a snack and eat. At work, have handy foods around you that increase your memory and focus like avocado, nuts, blueberries, celery and, lucky you, dark chocolate (Disclaimer: in moderation!). We are all very busy nowadays, but that should not be an excuse to not fuel your body and mind, especially if you want your brain to work effectively and top notch so you are successful.

4. Get Inspired

 

As the day goes on, things change, distractions pop up, the afternoon slump sets in and you just might need a double dose of motivation to keep going. Especially if you have half the work day left, kids to help complete homework and dinner to make; not to mention that the calendar is showing it is only Tuesday. To reset, you may need a quick boost in motivation.

 

The Fix

Get inspired. While you can’t always change your immediate situation, you can change your perspective. Take time during your mid-day to look at inspiring quotes, pictures and even visualize your goals coming to fruition. This is not the time to get on social media and check out the “fabulous” lives of everyone and self-pity, but rather to be inspired by what you have and where you desire to grow and be. I encourage you to surround yourself and your work space with things/pictures that are upbeat, colorful and goal focused. Then, at mid-day, take time to reflect and look around at your space. If you have a vision board, your work space is a great place to put it up and take time each day to reflect on it.

5. Take Deep Breathes

 

With the fast pace of our society, we sometimes forget to breathe. Yes, we are breathing, but we fail to stop and just take a deep breathe to center and be present.  Failing to just stop and deep breathe can keep us in a go-go, rush-rush and somewhat impulsive mode.

 

The Fix

Take deep breathes. Taking several deep breathes at mid-day can help you to feel more calm and neutralize stress. Make deep breathing at mid-day a habit, even on non-stressful days. Deep breathing can bring mental clarity, re-center you from distractions and help you to be more present.

 


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